yea so i moved again

I had to move blogs again!! I AM SO SO SO SORRY. But things like this are not in my control. So here is the new address...

http://aliciasdays.spaces.live.com/

This site is really cool, I have full photo albums up from my trip and bits from my birthday recently.

Once again my biggest apologies for the moving! But I hope you find my new site!

Birthday Pics

Yay, so yesterday was my Bday. I am now offically 22! I thought you might enjoy some pics from the day.

This is my 202 class. They had written bday messages all over the board for me!! Ama came into my class before I got there and as I walked in had my students sing to me! Isn't that cool! These guys are my highest level students and are a lot of fun. But really all my students are a lot of fun. This is a pressie I got from a student! Isn't it cute? If you pull the handle out slides a mirror. This is an example of the quirky pressies you get here. I also go a soft toy cow (I'm the year of the ox), a red soft toy pig head (that when you put your finger in the nose it plays a recorded message), and two 'Hello Kitty' tins with chocolate biscuits in them. Funny huh?
Lastly here is Joell and I. Alex gave me two masks for when I go riding, and I gave one to Joell and this photo happened. We are sitting at the restaurant we went to for dinner last night. Its down the road from my apartment and its actually really nice. If anyone comes and visits me I will gladly take you out. My food ordering skills are getting pretty good, so when I get home I might even be able to go to Medowlands to a Chinese restaurant and find some of the yummy foods I love in China.

All in all it was a great day! Melony made me a magnificent chocolate cake (I dont have those pics yet cause theyre not on my camera) and they all sung happy birthday to me. My first China birthday... a success!

A China Day

So today I met up with a couple from Eastgate who have been in China for the last two weeks speaking around the country. It was such a blessing to meet with them and fellowship for the day. They were such an encouragement to me!

But let me explain how this day started...

I was at the bus stop at 9am, and two buses I could have got on went by and I couldnt get one. People were literally falling out the door. So I didnt get on. Finally a bus came and after a while I got a seat!

I'm on the bus for about 3/4hr when we stop again, about 5mins ride from the stop where I get off, when the bus joined a line of buses and cars that was not moving. Of course, how could I forget, today there is a marathon through that main street!! Silly me! (Yea like I knew!)

Of course thats not the end of the story. I got out and walked the rest of the way, which was no problem. Today was a BEAUTIFUL spring day. Sunny, warm....ahhhh. SO nice.

So I get on the subway, change lines and then after 15mins get off at my stop. My instructions said to go out the 'Ditan Park' exit. Of course, that was the exit that was closed for repair! How silly of me to assume that I would actually be able to go out the right exit! But I looked at the map (yes I can read maps) and found my way.

In the end I found them no problem and had a great day. But yea, thought my day would amuse you!

chillin at home...

Well it appears I can not view my blog. But I can post. So until I can find a place to host my thoughts, that wont get blocked, I will continue to post here - despite not being able to check my great handiwork is looking good!!

Its funny, the last two weekends I have made rather grand plans, only to have them SQUASHED last minute. Don't ask me why. Last weekend I was sick, well just enough to not go out shopping with my girls. This weekend I had put aside time to meet up with a couple from Eastgate who are in China at the moment, speaking at fellowships and such, and somehow I thought that that would be happening on Saturday, but instead I am meeting up with them tomorrow. And I had my weekend all nicely planned out. With a student friend coming to stay the night at my apartment on Saturday night and then us heading off to visit with other lovers of Dad in the morning on Sunday.

But again, my plans have been changed. And its ok. But instead I find myself at home, with nothing really to do. I staying in bed until about 1pm, listening to audio sermons (by the way, podcasts are AWESOME! Free and have been keeping me entertained for hours! Also its nice to get some good solid word teaching!) I started watching a movie, and then I just listened to some music. I thought about writing some lesson plans, but I finished next weeks plans on Tuesday night (aren't I efficent?!), and really had nothing else to 'work' on!

Actually I forgot to mention that earlier this morning, some workmen came to the house as our bathroom has been mysteriously leaking. The floor is always wet and I never knew why. It appears we have a 'sealage' problem along the side of the bath. SO that was 1/2hr of entertainment.

But the point of the story is that I have been a bit of a bum (excuse my french!). I dont really feel guilty about this fact. My bed is comfortable, and sometimes just some quality 'alone' time doesnt go amis. I spend so much time at school talking to students (in and out of class) rushing to get things done and waking up this morning and realising there was nothing I NEEDED to do was so refreshing. Lots of praises upwards for that!

Well yea, thats all for now. I am probably gonna go back to um...doing nothing. Team night tonight. That'll be fun - pizza and board games! Bless ya! Leesh out :P

PS - Sorry I couldnt find any interesting pictures! I need to actually go out and do something to have pictures!

Cheese Please?

We were SO incredibly blessed this weekend. Melony came back from her trip down south with a MASSIVE block of New Zealand cheese!! The people who she stayed with have 'contacts' and gave it to her! We can get cheese here, but its expensive, so we dont normally buy the good stuff (if we splurg on cheese at all!!). This block should last us a good long time!!

Another pic I was gonna share is this one... I am standing with Michelle and Penny (and Alex) outside the DimSum restaurant we went to on Friday night. It was a really great night and we were all impressed by the beautiful 'traditional' building, so we had to stop for a photo!

no hot water!!

I thought I would share with you one of the joys of living here...no hot water for two days!! Really it wasnt so bad. I've heard that on other parts of the country they get their water turned off randomly for much longer. At least we had water. I did feel a little like we were camping though, boiling hot water to wash our dishes! But it was fun. For two days its ok. I'm pretty sure it was because they are working on some new apartments down the road.

So I've come to a conclusion. Since conference in Thailand, and his confirmation that I'm meant to be going home, I've been really thinking about what on earth I'll do once I get there. There have been several plans, and Joell even asked me last week what this weeks plan was. All thats for sure is that it involves at least a month of catching up with friends and hiding away somewhere near a beach in a tent. Even if its winter.

But as I was emailing my dad just two seconds ago I realised something. When my other Dad told me to come to China, I prepared knowing that He would provide. I knew that getting my resources together, although daunting, was all going to come together. Dad gave me peace about it and I am so grateful, because its something that could have really been a struggle. Just trusting Him for all of it.

As I remembered that, I realised that this past week I haven't been trying to make plans for coming home. Maybe I finally realised that since He has called me back to NZ, He will also provide, just like He did before I left. Of course my needs have changed somewhat (ie - do I get a job? and what kind? do I study again? what do I study? am I to come back to Asia? who with? how? ahhhhhhh!!). But if Dad was faithful before, why do I doubt that he will be faithful again?

I realise that I do allow my mind to get the better of me at times, thinking too much on stuff that really doesn't profit anything. But I guess I've finally realised, I have Dad's assurance that He is with me.

Things seem to work out so much better when you stop striving and just rest in Him. Just like this girl here...

Teacher I'm sorry I can't come to class today...

because I have loose bowels and the collywobbles.

This is the text message a student sent Joell yesterday afternoon.

That has got to be the best and most honest excuse I have ever heard!!

Back to blogger...

So I cant get onto Xanga. The Great (firewall) Wall of China! Apart from that I have been wanting to put up these picture for a few days. They were taken on Joell's Apple - photoboth. They're pretty funny huh? Ryan, Joell and I are officemates and the other afternoon we were alone in the office. Things got a little c r a z y...! Enjoy!

We actually do do work. Moments like these are few and far between. This week has been good. I have felt pretty good about my lessons, and we've been having a few in-class debates with my 202s. This weekend I am going shopping with a group of girls that I teach. All exciting things.

Well thats all folks. Enjoy the new residence!

Leesh Out :P

I love China

I am in China!!! Yay! Isn’t it cool! China is…well China-like! I don’t really know how to describe it any other way…other than its fascinating and enticing, and crazy all at once.

Right now we are in Qinhuangdao…about four hours out of Beijing. The flight from LAX to Shanghi was 12hours (a long 12hours as I got 1hr sleep!), then a two hour stop and then another 1hr 40min flight to Beijing. We arrived very tired and a bus took us on another hour ride to the hotel where we were staying for the night. It was about 1.30am in the morning (Beijing time)…and we were so tired. I climbed wearily onto my much-less-softer bed (than I am used too), and fell dead to the world. We had to get up at 7am the next morning! Then we got up and had breakfast of egg-foo-young (I think?!), spring rolls, rice with veggies and some fruit. Oh! I had kiwifruit juice as well!! All the Americans were like…wow this is so good…and I was like…yes it certainly is.

Then we hedded out on a bus again for some sight-seeing…Tiananmen Square and the Forbidden City (a massive palace/ museum). It is so hot and sticky here, we were all sweating a lot and it certainly was a cultural experience. There were people everywhere!! So many people, school kids, families, tourists like ourselves, just thousands of people. The forbidden city was pretty cool, although since it is so old considerably crumbling. There were are quite a few buildings being renovated, and they had big pictures up in front of these to show how they should look. I thought that was a little funny. And I am also famous, did I forget to tell you? I had several parents ask if their children could have photos with me! Gladly I obliged, they were SO cute. Ama is more popular than myself, because of her black skin and she had tonnes more photos than me. Its so funny! Beijing isn’t as bad as other parts of China as they are a little more used foreigners, but Joell said I had quite a few people looking at me. My blonde hair and green eyes….how funny!!

Then just before midday we met at the exit and walked for about 10minutes (while being confronted the whole walk by some very determined and tenacious hawkers) to a restaurant where we had lunch. Meals are fun!! Its like a buffet at your very own table! But I get full so quick and its hard to know quite how much I have eaten. But Ryan (my team mate) loves this, as I’m sure he has hollow legs and could eat for hours on end and not be full. So China is great for him.

After lunch we got on the bus again and came here, Qinhuangdao. It was another four hour trip, but we are all getting used to being patient and it was short compared to our first flight. I read for a bit and then just talked with some people on my bus for a while. All of a sudden we were here and had dinner and fell into bed again. This morning I woke up at about 6 and couldn’t get back to sleep, so I am writing some emails so that when I get an internet cable I can send them. We are gonna do that this avo…go shopping for a few things.

So I am loving China. I think that it is so different from anything I’ve ever known, but amazing in its own way. I would definitely compare it to Hong Kong and Singapore if you are trying to imagine what it is like. For some reason I sort of feel like this really could be my new home…with a few adjustments on my behalf. I’m guessing He has been working in me a lot, preparing me for now when I see all the things that are so foreign, but want them to be familiar.

We have been doing training and such...and learning a lot. It is very good. I feel like I have so many more stories to tell you all, but they will have to wait. I'm so sorry I can't seem to get my photos to upload. Will try again later.

farewell America

Just sitting in LAX, thought I'd share some photos from today...crazy to think that so soon we will be in China.

hey hey hey in the USA

Hey everyone!!! First I wanted to just apologise if you are emailing me and I haven't replied. My computer seems to be flat (or broken) so although there is wireless internet where I am at the hotel in California, I can't use it! I'm using my teammate, Ryan's, computer at the moment. We just went to a place called "In'n'Out" for dinner and now we are watching a movie of Alex's. (In the photo Alex is the guy, Joell is the Asian-American, and Ama is the last one.)

I have to tell you something....I have experienced culture shock. Crazy I know cause I'm only in the US, but man when all the other teachers arrived, I suddenly became quite popular. And then there have been times when I feel like I don't fit in cause I didnt go away to 'College' and they talk about food that I've never eaten...etc etc. I don't mean to be negative, but yesterday was quite a hard day. They are all amazing a cool and so nice, but I just didnt realise that we would be noticeably different. But we had an amazing worship time in our meeting last night and I kinda cried all my upsetness out...and felt so much better that I rung and talked to my family for the first time.

(The two people at the front are Melony and Harry my team leaders. The guy with the hat was Ama's friend who drive us to in'n'out, and then I think I've named everyone else. Actually Ryan hasn't been in any other pics, that's him infront of the guy with the hat.) And something else that I had no idea that would happen...I have had a lot of guys wanting to talk to me. Really they just wanna hear the accent, but this is so strange because I've never been anything special before. I kinda feel like this is probably a little of what it'll be like in China. I must admit though, I have used my new found 'cuteness' to my advantage when I had to catch a bus and I didn't know how it worked. Tonight when we were out at dinner (at the place I told you...where they only had three burgers on the menu) I got a 'prize' (free milkshake) and I'm guessing its cause of the accent..and the conversation I had with the worker asking how much the coins were worth.

But my teammates are SO cool and amazing. And as much as I momentarily miss home (and my heart aches a lot), I know I am exactly where the Father wants me, and I don't want to be at home. (As much as I do love you all!!!)

So yea, thats a little update. I don't know when I will get to a computer next, so I apologise big time if I don't reply to your emails. But please do email me cause I would love to hear from you when I can check them.

Kiwi girl out!!!

Dad this is a photo for you...I haven't seen any cars worthy of my camera yet, but I thought this Harley was a start.

in a strange land

Hey guys! Just wanted to give you a little update...although I haven't really got a lot to say. Today I'm just hanging out at the office with Monica, although she has gone to a meeting right now. In a little while I will go and meet her at the staff meeting and then a shared lunch, which should be fun!

Yesterday afternoon I did take some photos, but I dont have my cable with me to upload them. I am just using whatever computer I can get my hands on at the moment. It was so HOT when I went for a walk that I actually just found a patch on grass in the shade to sit on for a while. Felt like I'd been kinda cooped up all day in the apartment, although Anne of Green Gables kept me happy and entertained. Hehe. I love Anne Shirley.

Anyways, miss you all, but am so happy and excited to be here.

Kiwi girl out!

PS - I was gonna try and comment on some of the 'different' things that have stood out to me. But really its not so different, just bigger cars and crazy accents everywhere!

livin' in the USA...

Ok so I'm not living here...but I am here in the USA in sunny Calafornia. The title I think is from a song, but I'm not fully sure.

Everyone...12hours wasn't really that long! And because Sue was at check-ins at the airport, I scored a window seat with two extra seats...so no one to climb over to get out and lots of room to sleep. And I had my own screen, which was so cool. Movies, games...whatever you wanted to watch. Was great!!!

When I arrived Janell was waiting for me...with a big smile! It was great to finally have my feet on solid ground, and to have got through customs without a hitch. Just flash a smile and your cute NZ accent and you'll be 'sweet as'!! Although...I did get fully searched (ok don't read into the word 'fully' too much) just as I was getting on the plane in NZ...they made me take off my shoes, turn on my laptop and emptied my carry bag. The guy was nice, probably just doing random searches.

Then we were gonna try and go to the consulate, but we got a little lost and ended up just going back to the ELI offices and I hung out there until Monica was ready to go home. Then we just hung out, ate dinner etc went to bed. I was so tired by then that I slept until 9am! But hopefully I'm a bit more adjusted to the time zone now.

So thats all. Today they are letting me hang out at Monica's house and tomorrow I will go to work with her and help out. Thurs I get to meet all the other CTFers and training starts. Yay.

Sad to leave everyone, but right now I am so glad to be where I am...in HIS will and that is just so exciting and amazing.

Kiwi girl out!

PS - I'll attempt to take some photos today.

im a slack blogger already!

Wow, time has passed so quickly the last few days. My apologies if you have checked this blog and have found no new posts. I cannot believe how much there is to do and how the hours in the day pass so quickly. I almost forget to eat, or when I remember simply cannot be bothered preparing anything...so its good old peanut butter sammies.

Having a little trouble meeting all the requirement for my visa...but its a great faith exercise and I've been really saying out the twenty-third Psalm, and believing that its promises are for me. You also can say this for me (and for whatever situation you find yourself in), because we know that these are words of life and words for us.

Monday will be here all too quickly, and in so many ways I am very excited and eagerly await its arrival. On the other side as I sit here in my bed and write this post...leaving all this behind is daunting, saddening and scary. I love my family and will badly miss my daddy's hugs and my mummy's assuring hand squeezes.

But we all have to grow up sometime. And I know that my life is not my own...I belong to my creator and I will cling to his ways.

Please post me your encouragements my friends...your words mean a lot.

Luv Leesha

a new thing

I was reminded this morning of something Isaiah quoted in his 43rd book...

"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing
a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I
am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland."

Now is the season for change...and I guess what is being said here is 'don't try and hold on to yesterday, because what is coming today and tomorrow is pretty awesome.'

I'm not about to forget the past, but it would be quite easy to live in the past, pretending that people and things don't change when your away for a long time. But everything changes, and that's ok! Because there are streams where there have never been streams before, and pathways in the desert. Getting to walkn the paths and find the streams is so exciting and it is such a priviledge to move into a new-thing that has been pre-prepared for you.

These are my cousins kiddies, I went to my Oma's last night and we played mummy and daddy and baby piggies, and we played giants (I was the giant), and we played going in the car (not a read car, imaginary car), and then I read them a book. Twice. It would have been three times but I had to go. They cried.

Thats all folks!

me and my brova

This afternoon I went with my brova Age (Adriaan) to the shops to swap the jumper I bought him for his birthday. He didn't like my choice in clothing. This is what he chose instead and I think its quite nice.

Afterwards we had coffee...hence the number on the table. It was meant to be artsy, but its not that great. I wish I had the skills to make the focus the table no. and then Age a little blurry but still clear in the background. My camera is just a snap kind, so no manual focus or anything.

Here is a b&w (well duh) of him...again maybe I have wierd taste, but I think there is something about that photo that is cool. The 'still life' aspect? Maybe what I like is that this is him just as we were sitting there talking, something I can grasp at to remember the time we spent together drinking Mocha's. Mine was half strength. My fav.

Leesh out :P

there is a world on my shoulders

Feeling a bit like I'm carrying a world on my shoulders...who put that thing there?!! Darn it.

Today is not so good. I feel quite on edge and am trying very hard not to think of all the people I will miss.

If you read this, a few words upwards would be apropriate right now. Peace, strength, I dunno. Anything to help cope with way too many emotions. Darn being a girl - emotions come out my ears sometimes.

One consolation is that I have discovered a blog from ELI people in Beijing and its giving me a little courage, and some excitement. That dulls the ache in my heart a little.

to the bestest far away friend eva...

Even though so many of you are about to become far away friends, this is one of my friends who has been far away for a bit longer. For those of you who don't know my dearest friends Aimee...she is amazing. She is beautiful, like truely beautiful. She has the most amazing spirit and has been sorta like a big sister to me for so long. Aimee lives in London, and oh how I miss her at times like these. She moved overseas last year and so I have been getting advice out of her, since I'm so new at this whole moving out of home, going on an adventure and truely growing up.

Aimee I LOVED talking to you. I promise one day when you get married I will move heaven and earth to be there. (maybe the Big Guy will have to ok that, but you get what mean!) You are the most precious and amazing friend and I honour you for the way you walk in His presence and share that with so many. All my love a thousand times over.

it has been found!!

Silly silly me...the Chinese language cd was right there all along. I found it this morning just by my bed, when I lifted up a very small piece of paper and there is was. And I got all worked up...and for nothing. I'm glad I resolved not to worry too much about it.

I guess this proves that my room (and life) is in a bit of a disorganised state these days...and my cleaning-up efforts seem to be ruined only hours after I clean up. Last week I did go through my book case and took away all the other things that have ended up there that don't belong and tidied the books. So thats one small part of my room that is ready for me to leave.

Anyways...

My Chinese lesson went well last night. I don't really suck as much as I think I do, I even managed to remember a few phrases. It's funny, sometimes there are just words that I like saying, regardless of what they mean. Like Duo, you say this dowee, but you gotta say it fast. Actually I don't know what it means off the top of my head, but I like how it sounds. Say it out-loud a few times (I know you want too)....dowee, dowee, dowee. See? Its such a lovely sounding word!!

YanPing (oh dear I hope that is spelt right!) is the most lovely Chinese teacher. She is from Dalian and moved to NZ two years ago. I wish I could just take her with me. She always says 'duo' whenever I try really hard to say a sentence fast (like it should be said!). Hey...! I just remembered what duo means. Its means 'good'! That makes that word even more fun to say!! (Yes I am getting a bit carried away here, but run with it!!)

Anyways her father is in NZ at the moment, and he can't speak English, but he talked in Chinese to me and explained how to recognise a fake yuan (thier currency). Very useful information aye? And he is also so lovely...just like the Chinese father I never had. I couldnt understand him, but he nodded a lot and was so kind. YanPing explained some of what he said, but not all!!

So yea...I'm feeling happier about learning Mandarin. Last night I prayed that maybe I could just get Chinese in the form of 'tounges' like on the day of penticost!! Hehe. That would be cool.

Thats all from me for now probably till Monday unless I get inticed back by inspiration. I'll try and find interesting things to photograph.

Keep saying dou!! It'll make your day...and mine if you tell me how it went practising your first Chinese word!!

the joy is bubbling up...!!

I got another email for one of my teammates. And she sounds just so...so nice and I already feel like we are gonna get on so well!! Yay...

This certainly helps the nerves and other worries.

Praise him again and again :)

frustraition begins...

I'm feel that emotion in the subject line a lot. I cannot find my Chinese language cd and I don't understand why. I also suck at Chinese (as one would expect) and tomorrow is my next lesson and I can't seem to memorise my vocab. Funny thing is...yay, I get to stuggle with this for a whole year.

Fun.

Maybe I was expecting it to be easy.

That's stupid.

Since when is learning a new language easy? Am I up for the challenge...? Is my faith big enough?

"Rumour has it that you only need a mustard seed,
Alicia."

Arg...the truth...gulp.

beijing here I come!!!

Eeeeek!!! Arggg!! I have a placement!! I know where I'm gonna be living! And I'm gonna be teaching at a Business University!! And I know who is gonna be in my team...there are five of us, three girls and two guys.

I just got the email and I was so excited, and then I rung my dad to tell him and I almost burst into tears. When I got off the phone I did!!! Mum gave me a big long hug....and I'm still feeling kinda shakey. What a wierd way to react to good news. I am so wierd. I think I may be in shock.....

WOW.

Sunset

I snapped this baby on my way home tonight. I guess its not really safe to take photos and drive, but yea...I couldn't resist because it was just so beautiful.

What an awesome creater...

Selfishness

My amazing friend Mandy encouraged me again this evening. I wanted to make this blog a place where I shared just a little more than I was comfortable with...so as to become accountable to you all, and so you know what to talk to G about for me!

Anyway the Father put this on her heart...she said that this week I needed to stop thinking about myself and focus on others. And on my father.

I guess its so easy to be thinking all about ME at the moment, since its me who is facing the biggest challenge in my life. Buts not about me...its about him, for his glory. Yes I might be walking the road, but thinking about myself all the time is not gonna help, itll get rather distracting, cause I start to think I have too many things to sort out before I can feed into others.

Your thoughts??

there were shoes everywhere!!

Today I went looking for some leather dress shoes to wear when I'm teaching in China. If I had my way I'd be in running shoes all the time (not so I can run, they're just comfy!)! But according to my 'manual' given to me by my organisation I need to have dress shoes. So I went shopping...oh what a wearysome task. But do you think I could find shoes?! There were shoes everywhere...so many shoes, but none for what I need them for. Arg! So annoying!! Emmy found some nice shoes to add to her 'work clothes' selection, since she is a professional woman (town planner) and has to look very smart for work.

Oh well. I still have three weeks to find some that will fit the job description. I hope I'm a cool teacher...one my students can relate to and want to be around!

Leesh Out!! :P

Let me be a woman...

I know this blog is really meant to be my 'China Adventure', but if you know me, then you know that I get on 'band wagons' sometimes and have to verbalise what I am feeling passionate about.

In my world around me today, I see too many woman trying to make it as men. I'm not saying that women in power suits are bad, but hear me out...

I am a woman. I was created in the female gender, and with that gender came a whole lot of baggage. Not the bad kind of baggage, but just like when you buy a clock it has all the workings inside that make it go, people have things that make them go. What is inside a woman and what is inside a man are two different clock layouts. We both go, and appear to go quite similarly, but on the inside we look different.

Because I am a woman, I get emotional. (I can hear people saying...'duh'!) Because I am a woman, I am prone to extremities. One minute I can be giggling over the funny thing the radio presenter said, and the next I'll be almost crying because I saw a squashed cat on the road. (Seriously, run over animals make me very upset.)

Too often I see woman trying to 'overcome' their emotions. I'm not advocating turning up to work in an emotional mess, but what I am saying is that because of the way woman were made, they have an amazing capasity to love...and love is an emotion.

There is no point taking on male characterisitcs to get to the top of your chosen field or be a successful leader. Maybe it will get you there...but is it worth loosing who you were made to be in the process? I was created a woman, and in that lies my strength. Not to seduce or decieve through twisting others emotions, but by knowing who I am and how I am made...and using these things to build up those around me.

I wish society would stop telling women that success is something gained with a big pay cheque. I wish there was real value seen in simply being a women, not a women trying to be a man. I am a woman, I am feminine and I have emotions. The sooner I can figure out what that means, the sooner I can walk the path I was created to walk.

(Please note that I am really only starting to form my ideas around this subject. Its something my Father has really been speaking to me about...why he created me, why I feel things so strongly and why I desire to love and to be loved. Your comments and crtiques are welcome, I did write this at 1am in the morning ;))

can I just have a blaaaa day?

Actually is it ok to have a blaaa week? A week when I'm just not on-to-it, and week when I can wander around kinda spaced out and not really act fully responsibly? Cause that's what its been like this week...kinda bla. I feel quite disconnected from the BIG GUY and that is not helping the situation. I know in life you go through stages of falling in and out of love with Him, and feelings are not enough to base a relationship on, but when my love is not even aroused by the thought of His amazingness I start to get worried. Has he withdrawn from me?

And then I start to realise...that time you (Alicia) spend in His word has been happening less and less frequently. The weeks you're on worship leading you seek Him, find Him and lead the people victoriously in His strength...why not the rest of the time? Why does my passion wane and I loose strength?

Ahhh, humanness and the sin of omission...

So I found myself asking, what should I do? This valley can only get deeper unless something changes, and deeper is not where I want to go just before I embark on a journey when HE is the only one I will have to depend on.

Then this morning my friend and mentor Mandy texted me and it was like she knew exactly what I'd been feeling, even though I haven't really been able to verbalise it till now. She asked me what HE required of me...and this came to mind:

"He has showed you, O man, what is good.
And what does HE require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly with your FATHER."

- Micah Six Eight.

Again I have to come humbly back to the wood on the hill and lay myself bare. I am not worthy of his grace and mercy towards me. I am not worthy of forgiveness. But he is a good Father and he does not withhold these things from all who come to Him and ask. I admit I have walked in a proud way, alone and without Him because I thought I could do it. But I can't. I need to walk humbly with Him...Him who shines a light on my path and guides my ways. Then I can act justly and love mercy...then I can once again to commune with His beautifulness. Again I can start to see the light that shines out of his face, and the love which comes when he reaches out to embrace me. Even thinking about it brings me to tears. My Father loves me. My Father calls me back.

...I'm coming Father, I'm running back, I'm so sorry I went away, but I'm coming back. My lover, Father, friend and constant companion. You are the air I breathe, you are the songs I sing, you are my all...this prose I dedicate to you...

Photos of the Day

So today I went shopping with my friend Emma. I am meant to be saving, and I am trying very hard, but I did end up getting this red spotty shirt and white spotty scarf (that I am wearing around my head.

One of these days I will start blogging normally again, but today just calls for some pics.

WARNING: We went a little crazy...!!

It started off so harmless. Quick pics at home before heading off to music practise. Then things got a little crazy.

Here we are just after we finnished practise posing with the mics. Then came the crazies...I don't know how to describe what we are doing here. Pulling faces?

"Mmmm, girls, thats just a lil creepy..."

One Month to Go

Ok, so the fact that its only one month is offically freak'n me out. But I am so excited at the same time? Is that possible?

I woke up this morning and realised that now thats its four weeks till I leave, I can actually count the sleeps. Not that I have, but one day this week I'll probably do the count down.

Anyways. It's sad to leave my other blog behind, but since its time for new beginnings I need to be brave and just take the leap. New adventure, new blog.

I also figured a blog is boring without pictures, so since these are not really that relevant I have included them any way. The first one is Wahi Beach, the place I spent Easter weekend this year. Below is my beautiful cousin Lauren who we call Ren and she is sort of like my little sister. Isn't she beautiful?

Then lastly is Lauren and Lynd (my lil bro). I tried to make this look a lil artsy by black and whiteing it. Sorry about the sort of boring post. I just wanted to put something up here cause the last time I posted was a while ago. Please leave your thoughts etc in the comments section, I would really want to be able to hear from you.

Leesh out :)

a day for lists

So in about five months I'll be getting on an airplane to the States and then to China. Eeek! What am I doing? Jokes, I am totally excited to be doing this. Who knows I may love China and want to stay.

Things I have already done to get there:

• got a job to earn some $$$
• applied and been accepted to teach english
• been to my first Mandarin class
• told people I'm going

Things still to do:

• get my passport
• get a doctors checkup
• go to dentist (as I haven't been since I finished school)
• many other things I can't think of right now

Things for readers of this blog to do:

• read this blog
• leave your comments
• ask me questions
• tell me about what you want to know about China
• email me...um well the few of you that actually have my email addy!

This is me and my map of China. It has been on my wall since I was 15! What's with that? *Sigh* Dreams really do come true... :P